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Quote of the Day - This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

9th Circuit Orders House of Reps Split in Half

In a surprise move, the 9th Circuit published a concurring opinion that split the House of Representatives into two bodies.

The newly named bodies, Congless and Congmore, will set up bicoastal offices with representatives on the Eastern side of the Mississippi River now required to report to Washington, D.C. Those representatives West of the Mississippi will report to the newly-vacated 9th Circuit offices in Pasadena.

Rep. Mike Simpson of Idaho, the architect of the effort to split the Ninth Circuit reportedly said, "I don't want to travel to Washington, D.C. in the winter, so I welcome the chance to office in Pasadena." Current studies of the split of the House indicate that it will cost approximately $130 million to build out the Court's offices here in California to accommodate the Congless (there is a fight over which coast will receive the "lesser" designation). Simpson allegedly admitted that the pricetag will far exceed the $130 million, especially given the cost of hammers these days.

Apparently, according to the concurring opinion that was allegedly written by Kozinski and Thomas, the split will result in an increased efficiency in Congless. According to early reports of the opinion, which has not been published for public review, the feeling is that Congress in it's current state can't get anything done anyway with 432 representatives, so splitting it in half will make it twice as efficient.

Plus, now we'll have two sets of laws. Wags in Washington were rumored to say, "Those liberals out on the left coast can do whatever they want, as long as we have our own laws here."

I don't know about you, but I kind of liked Congress the way it was.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Know what I mean?

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Posted by J. Craig Williams on Thursday, November 11, 2004


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