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Quote of the Day - Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get. - Forrest Gump

The Marshmellow Warrant

You're camping with your grade-school teacher in Yellowstone National Park. Sitting around the campfire, she gets out hot chocolate and makes s'mores. You know, graham crackers, chocolate and marshmellows.

A few ghost stories and it's time for bed, kiddies.

One little mistake, though, but luckily no serious harm, unlike the poor fellow in the last link. Teacher forgets to put away the fixin's. Ranger catches her, issues a fifty-dollar ticket. Expensive lesson, very expensive s'mores.

Time ticks by, say a year or so. Teacher Hope Clarke travels from Riverton, Wyoming to Miami to take a vacation, and goes on a Carnival Fascination cruise. Nice, relaxing trip.

Until she returns to Miami from Cozumel, Mexico. Then, she's hauled out of bed at 6:30 a.m. taken from her cruise cabin, handcuffed, leg shacked and detained for nine (count 'em - that's 9, longer than most people's workdays). Then drug before a federal magistrate to answer for the Yellowstone ticket. For a marshmellow violation.

That's right. The ticket she paid a year ago. The copy of the ticket that the magistrate had (I'm guessing here that the copy came from the Customs Agents who arrested her on an allegedly outstanding warrant from the supposedly unpaid ticket) showed that she had, in fact, paid the ticket.

Admist her sobbing, the Magistrate Judge John J. O'Sullivan apologized and demanded that the Customs Agents answer up. Other than the standard "we thought we were doing the right thing," the Agents had no real answers.

The lesson here?

Be careful kiddies, it's a it's a jungle out there out there, and marshmellows can lead to a life of crime (you're not going to believe this, so scroll down to #4, and look for the "marshmallow (with an "a") effect"). Better to nip it in the bud now.

Posted by J. Craig Williams on Monday, June 21, 2004

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