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Quote of the Day - Why join the Coast Guard if you can be a pirate? - J. Craig Williams
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Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me

When you learn to cuss like a sailor, it helps to be a sailor.  Despite the two prior Pirates of the Caribbean movies and the third now out on DVD, there's little about cussing that you can learn from the movie except some very well-written - ahh - curses.  Take, for example, Captain Jack Sparrow's prelude to taking Will Turner into custody:  "Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig."

Ouch.  No doubt what's intended there.

So when we get a news story about 33 year-old Dawn Herb cussing out her toilet, something just gets lost in the translation.  The AP reporter compares the Scranton, Pennsylvania woman's blue-streak over her frustration with an overflowing toilet with the vocabulary of a longshoreman.  But having been a sailor myself, it just doesn't quite measure up.

Even before we had longshoreman, we had pirates and their language.  In fact, "I'd like to meet that filthy, mangy, worthless bilge rat Hector Barbossa to recover my beautiful ship, The Black Pearl," in another tribute to an antagonist in an earlier version of the story.  Did I get all those "an's" right?

Apparently as our present-day, wanna-be pirate heroine got upset over her predicament with her toilet, a policeman's daughter walked by her window and heard the cussing.  She reported it to her then off-duty Dad, who promptly called in reinforcements to issue her a citation under Pennsylvania's statute preventing "disorderly conduct for using obscene language or gestures in a way that causes "public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm," according to reporter Michael Rubinkam.

The ACLU has stepped in to defend her right to free speech and cuss a blue streak, and whether she'll be convicted now rests in the hands of a judge who's considering the arguments of counsel and words of the woman.  Not surprisingly, her lawyer advised her not to talk to the media.  No telling what she would have said to the journeyman reporter.

Oh yes.  One more thing.  Did I mention Pennsylvania's landlocked? 

Where did she learn this stuff?

Not from this pirate.

Printer friendly page Permalink Email to a friend Posted by J. Craig Williams on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at 00:32 Comments Closed (0) |
 
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